I was randomly browsing through a job site (procrastinating obviously) and came across this job listing, and I couldn't help but laugh and feel sorry for those who respond.
It was essentially a listing for a web developer to create a website to sell stuff. This job advert wasn't for a established company, but rather it seems, to assist the employer to sell their creations. So it was a small job, but what got my attention were the requirements.
But before I get into the list of requirements I was already suspicious.
I anticipate that this job will take a couple of days to complete since
all the code is already available by open source (I have some good
sources of free code too).
Got nothing against open source stuff, in fact I think it's great when the budget is tight and there's some wonderful stuff out there. But I get the idea the employer doesn't seem to understand the nature of web development - a couple of days for a fully fledged e-commerce site? Even if you were using open-source tools customising it to your site's look would take a few days, plus not to mention the testing involved and the almost guaranteed bugs that need fixing. The promise of 'good source of free code' seems sus too - licensing anyone (maybe non-commercial only)?
And here's a selection of what I found in the requirements list:
Complete the web site (web site design all done and all I now need is the back end to work)
...
I must be able to have a site that allows me to change the keywords in a control panel or maybe in Adobe Go Live and Dreamweaver 8 (do not know how to use them yet) but be taught how to do this
The web site design's all done and all you need is the backend to work, yet you can't use Dreamweaver or Go Live? Either you've got awesome notepad HTML/CSS skills, or you used a tool like FrontPage, or worse, Word (shudders).
Know what Auto Responder Program to use so that the site runs on AutoPilot eg must have subscribe and unsubscribe and must have, thank you for your email, thank you for your order, and be able to pre-program an email campaign. Know what Opt-In Form Program to use so that I can collect email addresses and names from
Subscribers who give me their email address from the web site.Note: For anti span purposes the Opt-In form must have “bent letters and numbers eg like Google when resetting an address to prevent getting loads of spam – want to stop being "data mined"
Do all this in a few days? Even if there was an open sourced app to do this you still have to setup the database backend at the web host, plus make sure it works with the whole site. A third party solution might be a better option, but I think most cost which I get the idea this employer is not big on.
Secure Real Time Credit Card Processing is required. PayPal or easy commerce pro – more secure and or Visa Card / Master Card, Dinners, Amex Compliant Site ie SSL security (MSI Credit Card Processor?)
...
Simple Site Statistics/Traffic Reporting, Simple Sales reporting, Simple Order tracking
Again, in a few days? If you ask me, opening up an eBay store is a much better option right now...
Stop my web site images being copied (I have some code for this that might help)
Someone tell this employer that you can't actually stop it 100%, and whatever code you have will probably end up pissing off the user. Embrace the openness of the web, after all you seem to love open source tools...
Must show Better Business Logo (I have copy of this – just cut and paste it on), Etrust Logo – just copy this from another site, UPS Logo (easy)
This is the best bit - just copy the logos from other sites, especially the ETrust one. At least it shows the employer knows how to exploit trust on the internet.
For obvious reasons, I'm going to keep the source of this to myself, but this is a great example of the need to let go on things you don't know/understand and learn to trust those who do. As hard as it may be sometimes, you just have to accept you don't know everything. I can understand why the employer did this - they're a bit of a control freak and want things the way they want it - but I fail to see any talented web developer going for this job given the multitude of other opportunities out there. All this employer will get, if they do at all, are those who don't know much either, and are in it for a quick buck.
Then again, after seeing so many horrid sites out there, I can see why web development is such a lucrative industry and why so many crappy web developers flourish.